A Fairy Godmother Who Empowers
Writing Your Memoir Through the Fairytale Lens Part 3
Everything in creation has its appointed painter or poet and remains in bondage like the princess in the fairy tale 'til its appropriate liberator comes to set it free.
—Ralph Waldo Emerson
Lurking in the shadows of every miserable childhood is a fairy godmother, waiting to help—like a benevolent stalker of goodwill, minus the creepy factor.
Of course, some people will insist they never had a fairy godmother. Maybe they reject the idea on religious grounds—no room for make-believe. Or maybe they just can’t picture a whimsical little fairy waving a wand and granting them a magical glow-up. Let’s be honest: unless you’re starring on a reality show, the odds of that happening are pretty slim.
But just because you didn’t get a pumpkin carriage and a sparkly ball gown doesn’t mean no one ever gave you a leg up.
Every Good Memoir Has a Fairy Godmother
There’s a saying—“You’re the one you’ve been waiting for.” And sure, taking charge of your own story is crucial, but let’s not pretend we do this life thing solo. Humans aren’t born self-sufficient—we show up tiny, screaming, and completely dependent on others to keep us alive. And even after we’ve mastered walking and talking, we still need a little help now and then.
A fairy godmother doesn’t have to be a sparkly woman with a wand. Sometimes, they show up as a mentor, a teacher, a friend, or even a stranger who gives you just the right tools at the right time. Maybe they offered wisdom, encouragement, or the inspiration to chase your dreams. The point is, none of us achieve our goals without someone sprinkling a little magic dust in our path.
So, the question isn’t whether you had a fairy godmother—it’s more about who they were and how they shaped you.
Maybe you’ve always pictured them as a tiny sprite in a ballgown, but in reality, fairy godmothers come in many forms—benefactor, angel, teacher, guru, guide, mentor. However they appear, their purpose is the same—to empower you at just the right moment.
Their time with you might have been fleeting. Maybe you’ve had more than one. But whether their impact was loud and obvious or subtle and unexpected, their encouragement or advice changed your life.
Don’t you know," she said pityingly, "that everybody’s got a Fairyland of their own?
—P.L. Travers, Mary Poppins
Examples of Fairy Godmothers in Folklore
Throughout folklore, fairy godmothers have long embodied the role of unexpected aid and encouragement. Let’s explore a few well-known examples.
• Cinderella’s Fairy Godmother is the quintessential figure that comes to mind because her reputation precedes her. She didn’t just wave her wand—she threw in a pumpkin coach, couture footwear, and a night out on the town. Talk about a VIP upgrade! Not every fairy godmother provides such accouterments, but maybe you can think of someone who loaned you their car or provided a place to stay.
• Pinocchio’s Blue Fairy guided him toward honesty, helping him become a “real boy.” Because nothing says ‘life lesson’ like your nose doubling as a tree branch. Good thing she was there to steer him toward honesty before he needed a chainsaw. Maybe you’ve encountered someone who encouraged you to embrace authenticity, leading to more genuine relationships.
• Sleeping Beauty’s Three Fairy Godmothers played a pivotal role in her fate. Two fairies gave her beauty and musical talent—pretty standard gifts. But one altered Maleficent’s curse and basically saved her from becoming the original Game of Thrones casualty. Perhaps you’ve had someone in your life who couldn’t erase your hardships but softened the impact of another’s cruelty.
• Grandmother Willow in Pocahontas lent her wisdom and reassurance, encouraging Pocahontas to trust her instincts and find her own path. She’s proof that sometimes the wisest mentor isn’t a wand-wielding fairy but a tree with serious therapist vibes. Can you think of someone who taught you to listen to your inner voice and speak your truth?
Fairy Godmothers Come in Many Forms
Fairy godmothers don’t fit into a single mold. Some are stern and quiet, dishing out wisdom with a raised eyebrow and a cryptic one-liner. Others are eccentric and over-the-top, as if they just downed a double shot of espresso with a Red Bull chaser. Some provide tangible assistance—money, scholarships, or shelter. Others might intervene in a moment of abuse or neglect. Some offer wisdom and guidance, arriving at just the right time, often when you’re on the verge of giving up.
Many fairy godmothers have overcome their own challenges, making them uniquely equipped to guide others. Whatever form they take, their gifts—whether encouragement, wisdom, or resources—empower us to move forward.
Examples of Fairy Godmothers in Memoirs
• Leaving the Saints by Martha Beck —A woman steps out of the shadows to validate Martha, proving that sometimes a fairy godmother is the one who tells you that you’re not crazy.
• The Hiding Place by Corrie ten Boom —Faith in God served as the ultimate source of empowerment, giving Corrie the strength to survive and share her story.
• Who Could Ever Love You by Mary L. Trump —A camp counselor and a teacher provided the nurturing Mary lacked at home, shaping her love for books and encouraging her self-worth.
• Be Ready When the Luck Happens by Ina Garten —Ina’s grandmother nurtured her love of food and hospitality, planting the seeds for her future career.
• Sorry for the Inconvenience by Farah Naz Rishi —A childhood teacher and an unexpected friend helped Farah navigate trauma and embrace her true self.
• Spare by Prince Harry —A mentor in the African bush gave Harry peace away from paparazzi, showing him the value of solitude and self-discovery.
What If You Can’t Find Your Fairy Godmother?
Maybe you’re wondering if you even had a fairy godmother. Remember fairy godmothers don’t always appear in grand gestures—sometimes, their influence is subtle. Perhaps their impact wasn’t clear until years later.
Look for the Helpers
When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.
—Fred Rogers
Fairy godmothers are “helpers,” who often emerge when we need them the most. Their impact may seem small at the time, but in hindsight, they may have altered the course of your life. While memoirs often focus on hardship and trauma, it’s just as important to acknowledge the helpers.
Think back to the turning points in your life. What made you change course? Who offered encouragement, advice, or a critical resource at just the right moment? List all the people who’ve helped you throughout your life. Chances are, you’ve had more than one fairy godmother. You don’t have to write about all of them—just those essential to your story.
Writing About Your Fairy Godmother Can Be a Gift
You’ve claimed your hero status. You’ve unmasked the villain. Now, it’s time to acknowledge your fairy godmother. Because memoirs aren’t just about hardship—they’re about hope. And when you honor the fairy godmothers who’ve sprinkled a little magic into your life, you lighten your own load, add a touch of sparkle to your story, and remind readers that kindness and guidance exist, even in the darkest of times. Recognizing their role is one of the greatest joys of writing a memoir.
NOTE: This is an excerpt from my book How to Frame Your Memoir Through the Fairytale Lens.
Awesome analogy!