A Hero Who Transforms
Writing Your Memoir Through the Fairytale Lens Part 1
A hero is an ordinary individual who finds the strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles. —Christopher Reeve
Once upon a time, in a land not so far away (probably your childhood home), you faced challenges, endured hardships, and grew into the person you are today. But do you see yourself as a hero? You should. Because when it comes to writing a memoir, you are the protagonist. The main character. The chosen one. Your story isn’t just about what happened to you—it’s about how you transformed.
And yet, you might be thinking, “But I’m no hero (or shero, if you prefer a little extra flair). What have I done to inspire anyone?” Don’t worry—being a hero isn’t about slaying dragons or wearing a cape (although, if you have one, I fully support it). Heroes come in all forms, and chances are, you’ve been one all along.
As Gandalf wisely said:
I have found that it is the small everyday deeds of ordinary folk that keep the darkness at bay. Small acts of kindness and love. —J.R.R. Tolkien
Even if you feel like “ordinary folk,” your truth can inspire others. In The Glass Castle, Jeannette Walls shows us that it’s okay to have been poor, homeless, or neglected—because as children, those circumstances were never our choice. Just as we don’t blame Cinderella for her rags, we don’t blame Jeannette for the cardboard box she once called a bed. In her memoir, Walls dismantles the stigma around childhood neglect and reminds us that surviving a rough childhood isn’t something to be ashamed of—it’s a triumph.
Jeannette Walls became a hero twice—once for surviving and again for writing about it. By calling things as they were, she freed herself from shame and, in doing so, gave that same gift to every child who grew up without stability.
The first step in writing your memoir is recognizing the hero within. Let’s explore some hero archetypes to help you discover your heroic style.
Hero Archetypes
1. Seeker Hero
If your story is about chasing freedom, truth, justice, love, or belonging, you’re a Seeker. Your readers will join you on your quest for answers, revelations, and maybe a few plot twists. In Leaving the Saints, Martha Beck sought the truth about her childhood, her father, and her church, and uncovered some life-altering secrets along the way.
2. Protector Hero
You stand up for what’s right, defend the vulnerable, and shield others from harm. Think Corrie ten Boom in The Hiding Place, risking everything to protect people during WWII. Whether you’ve shielded a friend from harm, stood up to injustice, or simply kept a sibling’s secret longer than you should have, your role as a protector is worth telling.
3. Healer Hero
Some heroes overcome fear, shame, toxic relationships, or the loss of a loved one. Farah Naz Rishi, in Sorry for the Inconvenience, shares her journey of healing from a narcissistic mother and the devastating loss of her entire family. Sharing how you found peace and forgiveness can inspire your readers to begin their own healing journey.
4. Rebel Hero
If you’ve ever flipped a table (literally or figuratively), challenged the status quo, or walked away from an oppressive system, you’re a Rebel Hero. Prince Harry in Spare redefined his role, defied tradition, and sent the royal tea spilling across the tabloids. If you’ve ever felt like the black sheep, your story will resonate with fellow misfits and changemakers.
5. Innovator Hero
Some heroes create—whether they craft new identities, opportunities, or communities. They rebuild families and society from the wreckage of their past, offering hope for those who feel stuck. Ina Garten, in Be Ready When the Luck Happens, overcame her parents’ expectations and carved out a wildly successful life. If reinvention is your superpower, embrace your role as an Innovator Hero.
6. Witness Hero
Sometimes, the hero’s role is simply to witness life’s complexities and share the truth. This brave act of storytelling validates the experience of others and reminds the reader they’re not alone. Mary Trump, in Too Much and Never Enough, bore witness to a family empire built on narcissism. If you’ve spent a lifetime observing and feel compelled to speak your truth, your perspective can be a powerful force to help society recognize the evils of toxic families.
What Type of Hero Are You?
These are just a few examples of heroes. By portraying any of them, you can create a memoir with rich, layered storytelling that engages and inspires.
You might instantly recognize your role in life, or you might need time to reflect on your struggles and relationships. You may even find that none of the usual labels fit—and that’s okay. The goal of being a hero isn’t to invent a role but to discover the one you’ve already been playing.
The truth is, you’ve been a hero for most of your life. Now, it’s up to you to figure out exactly what that role has been. If you’re unsure right now, don’t worry. Just keep these roles in mind and embrace the idea of seeing yourself as the hero while you piece together the rest of your fairytale.
You're Writing for Your Audience, Not Your Critics
It’s natural to worry that others (especially your ugly step-sister) might challenge your hero status. But remember, your memoir isn’t for them. It’s for the people who will see themselves in your journey. It’s for your kindred spirits, not your critics. Teddy Roosevelt knew a thing or two about critics and penned one of history’s most famous speeches:
It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena... —Theodore Roosevelt
The person in the arena is the true hero. When someone questions your truth, just smile sweetly and say, “Well, that’s how I remember it. Feel free to write your own memoir.” (And then sip your mocha like the dignified hero you are.)
From Victim to Hero: The Essential Transformation
Let’s be real—most of us start our stories as victims. Childhood, family dynamics, or life circumstances put us in situations we couldn’t control. But here’s the kicker: a memoir that stays in victim mode becomes a rant, not a transformation.
A hero rises. They learn, adapt, and take back their power. Even Cinderella had to put on the glass slipper and walk out the door.
If your story is just a list of grievances, your readers may feel sympathy—but they won’t feel moved. What inspires people is the moment you take charge of your narrative and become the hero of your own life.
Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing we’ll ever do. —Brené Brown
Embracing Your Hero’s Role
Framing your memoir through the Fairytale Lens means embracing every part of yourself—the victim, the survivor, and ultimately, the hero. Your story isn’t just about what happened; it’s about how you rose. The real magic isn’t in the struggle—it’s in the transformation.
Sometimes, the most heroic act is simply becoming yourself.
After enduring abuse from an older brother and forced isolation by her controlling, fanatical parents, Tara Westover broke free to build her own life. But did her family see her as a hero?
In one of the most heart-wrenching scenes of Educated, Tara describes a battle with her father:
If I yielded now, I would lose more than an argument. I would lose custody of my own mind. This was the price I was being asked to pay, I understood that now. What my father wanted to cast from me wasn’t a demon: it was me.
Tara’s story reminds us that sometimes, being the hero means refusing to be anyone but yourself.
What a great pep talk! Thanks for that.
Awesome advice on how to develop a moving, readable and relatable story, Cheri.