When we step into the family, by the act of being born, we do step into a world which is incalculable, into a world which has its own strange laws, into a world which could do without us, into a world we have not made. In other words, when we step into the family we step into a fairy tale.
—Gilbert K. Chesterton
You’ve probably heard the saying, “It takes a village.” Well, that’s never more true than when you begin your memoir.
To write a memoir that intrigues your readers, you’ll want to set up your village of characters. It’s not enough to have a good story about you—no story is completely about you. It involves other people who influenced you, fought with or for you, and generally either supported or failed to support your goals in life.
Many people mistakenly think their story is only about them. But unless you were kidnapped and raised in a cave by squirrels (and hey, even that would involve a squirrel village), chances are you had a cast of characters surrounding you as you grew up. This holds true even if you felt completely alone.
Think of Belle, wandering through her alpine village with her nose in a book. She might have felt like a total outsider, but the audience sees a bustling world around her—shopkeepers, goats, a guy who needs six eggs, and lots of cheery “bonjour!”s.
The beginning of your memoir is your chance to introduce your village—the people, places, and dynamics that shaped your early world.
But heads up: it’s not enough to say, “Here’s Bill, and my other brother Bill, and—oh look!—my other brother Bill.” You’ve got to show us who they are as characters, so we can keep them straight.
So, if you do happen to have three brothers named Bill (no judgment), help your reader out. Maybe they’re Bill the Shoemaker, Bill the Candlemaker, and Bill the Butcher. Instantly more memorable, right?
Plus, let’s be honest—Bill the Candlemaker gives cozy, warm vibes. Bill the Shoemaker? Practical and grounded. But Bill the Butcher? The reader is already a little nervous around him... and probably for good reason. (Otherwise, you’d give him a new name—because it’s your memoir, and you can change names.
What Do You Need to Set Up Your Memoir?
1. An Enchanted Hook
(We just discussed this in Chapter 1)
2. Your Unique Voice
In a novel, it would be the voice of the main character or the all-knowing narrator, but in memoir, the narrator is you.
This means your tone, reflection, and vibe really matter. Whether it's hilarious, haunting, or poetic, your voice is the main thing that makes someone fall in love with your way of telling the story—not just the story itself.
Your reader is asking, “Do I trust you to tell me this story?”
And the answer had better be a resounding YES.
3. A Glimpse of Your “Before” World
You’ve got to show us what life looked like in your village—back in the beginning, before “Leaving the Shire” and everything changed.
This is true for both memoir and fiction. The "before" makes the reader feel the contrast when the dominoes start to tumble.
In Educated, we see Tara Westover’s isolated, survivalist life even before she questions it.
In Leaving the Saints, we can feel the clean mountain air, see the well-manicured lawns and beautiful families as Martha arrives in Salt Lake City. It makes us want to live there and wonder why anyone would want to leave.
Without the “before,” the transformation would have no punch.
4. The Stakes (or Why This Story Matters)
You don’t have to lay it all out, but we need inklings of trouble or hints of what’s at risk.
It helps if you can give us a glimpse of what the character wants.
Clue us in to what internal or external pressure might be building.
What’s the emotional or psychological thing you’re chasing—or avoiding?
What family conflict is simmering under the surface?
5. A Sense of Theme or Promise
This might be subtle, but it’s important. You’re planting seeds for the emotional journey ahead.
Will this be a story of resilience? A tale of transformation? A confession? A reckoning? A redemption? A reunion?
You don’t have to spell it out—just toss your reader a few snapshots.
What to Avoid in Your Set Up:
• A giant info-dump or backstory bomb.
• Vague musing without grounding in scene.
• Starting too early (like, “I was born in a small town in 1946…”—Unless you’re Dolly Parton).
• Clichés or generic writing that doesn’t reveal your unique voice.
The Setup Should:
✔ Hook the reader
✔ Introduce your voice
✔ Show the world “before”
✔ Hint at conflict and stakes
✔ Set the emotional tone or promise
If you’re thinking, “Wait, this feels like a lot of puzzle pieces,” you’d be right. But remember, you’re not telling your entire life story—you’re offering a carefully crafted window into it and you only have to take one memory at time.
As one teacher puts it:
Memoir isn’t a summary of a life; it’s a window into a life, very much like a photograph in its selective composition. It may look like a casual and even random calling up of bygone events. It’s not; it’s a deliberate construction.
—William Zinsser
Imagine how intriguing it is to open a book and sense a unique world where you can hear the storyteller’s voice in a reassuring tone, promising that they have a great story to tell. Then, as you keep reading, you start to sense something is unsettled—and you want to get to the heart of it.
If someone else’s memoir has ever pulled you in, now it’s your turn—to sculpt your own into a story worth hearing.
You have the creative knack for sure, Cheri!
All the snippets of who you ARE, created a skilled teacher‼️
Teach on, dear Cherilyn💝