Excellent points, especially about the idea of obligation in the marriage vow. Eight long years? This is so heart breaking. Thanks for your thorough analysis. I'll read this over many times.
Sad story, yet some marriages can be mended, others cannot, because a line had been crossed. Mrs Yancey may blame herself somewhat. When that happens, I think people are more inclined to try to restore the marriage.
A book from the 90’s titled His Needs Her Needs makes some good points about married couples tending to each other’s needs, but I disagree somewhat about the division of needs by gender.
Brilliant piece on the differecne between obligation and actual grace. That line about Janet's statement being about duty rather than love really lays bare something I've seen play out in my own extended family when someone stays "for the vow" but loses themselves in the process. Eight years isn't a mistake, its a sustained choice, and framing forgiveness as an obligation just traps people in caretaker roles they dunno they can leave.
I was saddened at the news. I have many books by him. They have helped me over the years. Thank you Cherylin for your thoughtful writing to help us process this.
Excellent points, especially about the idea of obligation in the marriage vow. Eight long years? This is so heart breaking. Thanks for your thorough analysis. I'll read this over many times.
Sad story, yet some marriages can be mended, others cannot, because a line had been crossed. Mrs Yancey may blame herself somewhat. When that happens, I think people are more inclined to try to restore the marriage.
A book from the 90’s titled His Needs Her Needs makes some good points about married couples tending to each other’s needs, but I disagree somewhat about the division of needs by gender.
Brilliant piece on the differecne between obligation and actual grace. That line about Janet's statement being about duty rather than love really lays bare something I've seen play out in my own extended family when someone stays "for the vow" but loses themselves in the process. Eight years isn't a mistake, its a sustained choice, and framing forgiveness as an obligation just traps people in caretaker roles they dunno they can leave.
I was saddened at the news. I have many books by him. They have helped me over the years. Thank you Cherylin for your thoughtful writing to help us process this.